He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress and for his children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Strange Conversations

I could have alternately made the title to this post, "things I never thought I'd say" or even "things I hoped I'd never say" but there were also some all out strange conversations thrown in the mix over the past 24 hours so I decided to stick with the conversation title...

Here's an example from about an hour time period yesterday morning...

(me to Jason) "Thanks for boiling then diluting the water, honey, so I could rinse the shampoo out of my hair after shivering on the bathtub floor for almost 10 minutes since every last drop of water ran out AFTER I was all lathered up."

(Ok, so obviously I didn't say all that as my lips were blue and I couldn't talk for 30 minutes after said incident but I wanted to give you an idea of how my day started...)

Fast forward about 45 minutes.  Jason leaves to attend an all day conference.  I'm straightening up the kitchen in preparation for the day of having 3 friends spend the day with the girls as their parents are also attending the all day conference.  I notice a "piece of dog food" that has managed to escape from Mia's bowl across the room.  Not at all unusual as Mia likes to get a piece of food, carry it across the room to a certain carpet and eat it there.  Whatever.  Forget about "piece of food".  As I'm cleaning Anabelle wanders in and is jabbering behind me.  She gets quiet.  I look back and notice her standing where the "piece of food" was.  Shoot, she's eating it, I think.  No big deal, right?  It's protein.  Head over to remove dog food from baby's mouth.  It's already down the pipe but I wipe some off her lip and get a whiff.  THAT'S NOT DOG FOOD, THAT'S DOG POOP!!!!!!


Next thing I hoped I'd never say (or in this case text which is what I did to Jason):
"NOOOOOOO!!!!  Anabelle just ate dog poop!!!!!!"

And the answer to why there was a small piece of dog food shaped poop in the middle of our kitchen floor is "I have absolutely no idea".  Mia essentially has a litter box on our balcony and is very well house trained.  Who knows.  

Moving on.  

I mentioned we had friends come to play for the day.  It was a beautiful day so we headed to the park by the girl's school because Abbey and Maddie had rehearsal for their school Christmas program.  I figured we'd play while they rehearsed and then for an extra special treat we'd get McDonald's for lunch.  Mainly because I hadn't been to the grocery store since before Thanksgiving and although I've been known to feed MY kids really random things for lunch like popcorn and cereal on the day before my grocery store run (that happened today), I really didn't want to feed our guests any weird combinations.  So, McDonalds it was.  

First,  here are some fun pictures from our time at the park.

Anabelle loved climbing

And sliding

All the girls...

Big girl and little girl...

Little monkey

Anabelle's standard "cheese" pose whenever she is aware of the camera

Ok, so back to my strange conversations.  On the way from the park to McDonald's, I got everybody's order straightened out in my head.  If you've ever ordered for 7 kids at a fast food restaurant in America and found it at all confusing or challenging, well, try doing it at a fast food restaurant overseas.  That's all I'm going to say.  So I was very proud of my organization and planning ahead and had everybody's order grouped and figured out in my head down to who wanted what drink with what happy meal.  Aj and Maddie head the group into the playground while I go to the counter to order and have the following conversation with a McDonald's worker who I've chosen to name "Psycho Man"...

(first let me say that he saw me herding in 7 kids and was already chuckling when I started to order.  Thankfully the restuarant was virtually empty as we were WAY early for the typical lunch hour here even though it was noon)

(also keep in mind that some of this was in Arabic.  typically in fast food restaurants here there is a very random combination of English and Arabic because, well, "chicken nugget"and "happy meal" don't really translate)

Sorry, I WILL tell you this conversation.
Psycho Man (as I said, he was already chuckling):  Can I help you?
Me: Yes, first I'd like 3 Happy Meals with Chicken Nuggets with 2 sprites and 1 diet coke
Psycho Man:  No, you cannot
Me:  Oh?
Psycho Man:  Only chocolate milk or Tropicana
Me:  No, we always get soft drinks with Happy Meals, I dont' want milk or juice
Psycho Man: No, you cannot.  Problem with machine (he points to soft drink thingy)
Me:  OH, you mean with ANY meal, the only drinks I can get are chocolate milk or orange juice?
Psycho Man:  Yes, only.

(pause as I go re-take drink orders for all kids and return)

Me:  Ok, 3 chicken nugget meals with chocolate milk, 2 cheeseburger meals with chocolate milk
Psycho Man:  Ok
Me:  Also 2 Big Mac meals (my oldest 2 are way beyond Happy Meals...) with chocolate milk
Psycho Man:  No, you cannot
Me:  Huh?  
Psycho Man:  No chocolate milk with Big Mac meal.  
Me:  But you have not soft drinks and they don't like orange juice
Psycho Man:  You want coke?
Me:  You told me no coke
Psycho Man:  Now, there is coke (it's been like 2 minutes).
Me:  Ok, diet coke?
Psycho Man:  No, only coke
Me: Fine, coke.  

(get orders and send Abbey back to get nugget sauce and she's told by psycho man that she has to pay for it. good grief)

Me:  Sorry, I just bought nuggets and I have to pay for the sauce?
Psycho Man:  You must pay
Me: Seriously, that's ridiculous, I PAID for the nuggets...
Psycho Man:  You must pay.
Another worker:  Here is the sauce


Ok, I think that story lost a bit of it's punch in the re-telling but it was quite Twilight Zone-ish....

Fast forward to tonight and we're sitting around the dinner table doing our Jesse Tree Advent devotional.  We're doing it around the dinner table because last night when we attempted it AFTER dinner it was a complete disaster because it was PAST Anabelle's bedtime and, well, it just wasn't pretty.  So we decided to do it over dinner tonight.  

Here's part of the conversation...

Me (pausing from reading the Scriputre):  Naomi, do you know who the serpent was?
Naomi:  Yep, a maid.
Me:  Umm, no.  

(pause to describe difference between serpent and, well, I guess she's thinking of "servant")

Fast forward to after we've read the Scripture passage and are discussing it...

Jason:  Naomi, can you tell us what happened to Adam and Eve in the garden?
Naomi:  Sure, they ate the Apple of Death (said in a witchy voice) and had to leave.  

Ok, as you can imagine, we've totally lost our audience at this point..

Seriously, the apple of death?  I honestly don't know where she gets this stuff!!

1 comment:

Leslie said...

Hi, we haven't met yet but I'm in Jordan too and LOVE reading your blog. You put things into words about Jordan that are exactly what I'm thinking and would say, if I was a good writer! Ha! I especially loved your post about the trash here and how no one cares. It drives me crazy too! Anyways, just wanted to say a blogger hello!