He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress and for his children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26

Thursday, March 25, 2010

MY story, MY song

I've realized recently that for the most part, I've pretty much just used this blog as a place to share pictures and stories about the girls specifically meant for family and friends who live so far away.  Anyway, I've realized that writing is really an outlet and stress relief for me, so I may ask you for the occasional indulgence to just share my heart and my ramblings- I know, I know, look out all you grammar and spelling police, hear I come!  Have a little grace though, most of the times that I have to sit down and grab a few minutes to blog, it's between spelling and math lessons with the big girls, games of all different sorts with Naomi, combined with Arabic classes, laundry, and yeah, I guess my family needs to eat too.  All that to say, I claim to enjoy writing as a stress relief- a way to express my emotions, thoughts and feelings, not a way to be grammatically or even theologically correct.  So thanks for indulging me for an occasional rambling session that doesn't include pictures of my little beauties. 

Here's what's been rolling around in my head for the last few days, and, yes, even belted out in the shower.  (hang with me and you'll know what I mean).  I've had a tough few days, it's just been one of THOSE weeks.  Nothing went like I thought it would.  Things did not happen according to MY plan.  God answered prayers, but not in the way I thought He would (and not even according to my suggestions- imagine that).  I guess, truth be told, when it comes down to it, I just didn't get my way, in my time.  I find myself wondering why this is still such a hard lesson for me...

Anyway, on Saturday, we were gathered with dear friends for a time of worship.  In the midst of struggling with why I didn't get my way, we sang a priceless old hymn that has become so dear to me.  As we sang the words of "Blessed Assurance", I looked around the room at all my blessings:  my incredible husband who has been my rock, my beautiful girls, precious friends who mean the world to me- my overseas family, sweet Naomi was sitting in my lap and I simply couldn't hold her tight enough- all my girls are priceless miracles, but the unique miracle that she is especially spoke to my heart on this day.  Anyway, I looked around at all these things, even all the little details of the home we have made in Beirut- a painting from a favorite place in Lebanon, another from France, the framed picture that I gave Jason on our first Valentine's day together in 1993, the priceless pieces of furniture that Grandaddy made me, the crazy Lebanese couches that will just never quite be comfortable enough, the African guard chair from Jason's days in West AFrica, Jason's "chemo chair"- the recliner so dubbed after his grandparents gave it to us during Jason's cancer, the framed Scottish blessing that my best friend re-gifted me with before we came overseas.  I took all these things in in a matter of seconds to the back drop of "Blessed Assurance" and God just said so clearly to my heart, "my child, all of this is your story and your song.  The story of your life that I am writing.  Take the good with the bad and learn in the midst of it to sing My praises."  Oh how I needed those words and I pray they encourage your heart as well.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
O what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Saviour all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Saviour all the day long

(For those of you who might still feel the need to comment on any grammatical errors after my above explanation, here are some pictures of the background noise I was dealing with while writing- YOU try getting out a coherent thought with your 4 year old telling you how to do "downward facing dog" on the bed behind you)

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, look mommy, I'm doing yoga, this is downward dog" etc etc etc

I got a few minutes pause between chatter sessions but she was soon back showing me how to "roll around like a ball" (and yes, it is afternoon here, and yes, she is still in her pj's (Go, Tigers, Go!)-this is not the norm for us so please don't go there with me, today :)). 


Kendra said...

Thanks for your musings - I enjoyed reading. Very encouraging sister. And the 'damn' story about Maddie had me rolling!! I hope you keep on musing here and there (and telling on the girls and their silly antics of course:).

kellie j. said...

pretty proud of the fact that i'm the one who taught her downward facing dog. what else can i teach her? hee hee. great post. great word about all that we have to be sooo grateful for!

eaglemama said...

Thank you for being honest about the noise, pj's still on and still struggling with God and the way he answers our prayers. It is good to know that I am not alone at times. Praise God anyway.