He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress and for his children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26

Monday, October 22, 2012

Naomi for President

Keep reading and you'll see what I'm quoting.  Too bad she can't ever be president being born in Beirut and all- she'd make a pretty good one I bet and would at least keep us laughing as she has been since she looked like this....

Ok, so I don't like to play favorites, and sometimes I almost hesitate to write something about one of the girls when I'm not doing something similar for all- I've already been reminded by one that I failed to do her birthday post...  Anyway.  

So for some reason the other day I was scrolling through old facebook statuses and I was laughing out loud at many of the things that our family comedian (that would be Naomi for those who don't know us well) has said over the years.  Many things I remembered, but some I'd completely forgotten about so for a moment I was oh so thankful for Facebook!  

If you're a parent, I'm sure you've had plenty of "out of the mouths of babes" type moments, but I truly believe that Naomi has provided us with more than a fair share of laughs over the years.  Little mess pot is just stinkin' hilarious.  She is still growing into her humor and is not always thrilled when we laugh at her but she's conflicted because we all know that she loves making people laugh.  The quotes dropped off a little recently as you'll see, not because there are less, but because she has discovered that "Naomi quotes" are pretty famous and she makes me promise not to tell.

And seriously, could you say no to those eyes?

(and yes, she's even mastered the art of the rapid blink sometimes resulting in tears that she can produce in a moment's notice when her sister's tell her to do "puppy dog eyes".  Ridiculous, right?

Here are my Naomi related facebook statuses going back to Dec 2009 just before she turned 4 in February.  Completely unedited as you will see that many of them sadly refer to my weight...
(with some random Naomi pictures thrown in ...)  If I feel the need to add real time commentary it will be in italics...

Dec 8, 2009 So Naomi just called from the bathroom and asked that I bring her a book

Dec 15, 2009 Naomi just walked into my bedroom wearing my glasses and said, "How do you like my spectacles?"  I never know what will come out of that girl's mouth!

Dec 18, 2009 Naomi quote (with hand on hip and much exasperation) "Mommy where are the heck is Maddie?"

January 29, 2011 Naomi, while watching the universal pictures logo come across the TV screen, "that's the earth.  We live on earth and blood helps us live."  guess someone's been paying attention in science!

this was the year I homeschooled Abbey and Maddie and Naomi was our constant companion...

for a little age perspective, Feb 21, 2010, Naomi turns 4

March 9, 2010  Naomi to Abbey and Maddie who were teasing her, "Stop it!  Mommy says not to agrabate me."

March 11, 2010 Naomi to me at the hospital this morning after a Lebanese man walked by and pinched her cheek, "Mom, all the peoples here think that I'm cute."

June 8, 2010 Naomi just came into my bedroom with a doll under her dress.  She said, "look Mom, I'm about to have a baby"  She then proceeded to "have" the baby while making "zerbert" (spitting) noises and pulling the baby out by the leg.  Then she says, "oh look, she's so precious, I'm going to name her fluffy...."

June 22, 2010 Jason just walked through saying, "ughh, I"m sweating like a pig" to which Naomi responds, "well I'm sweating like a duck"

June 26, 2010 Naomi is trying very hard to join in the family excitement about the World Cup.  She says to Jason, "Oh sorry Dad, I don't know how to play hockey, but I'm pretty good at golf." ??

July 2, 2010 Just came into the kitchen to find Naomi filling several tupperware dishes with water.  She tells me she's getting the food and water ready for our new duckling and hippo.  Apparently I missed something...

July 6, 2010 Conversation in our van this afternoon (about the World Cup... sort of)  Jason to me, "I don't like Uruquay".  Abbey: "Who, daddy?"  Jason: "Uruguay"  Naomi piping up from the back, "Do you like mine daddy?"  Jason:  "Your what?"  Naomi:  "My guay"  All laugh and Naomi screams, I DON"T LIKE IT WHEN YOU LAUGH AT ME!!  better get used to it little girl!

she's gotten (a little) more sports savvy....

Aug 6, 2010  Jason is taking all 4 of his ladies on a date tonight and Naomi just said, "Mommy, all the peoples in the restaurant will love me and my beautiful jewelry"- she then walked out shaking her hips if that is at all possible for a 4 year old- Lord help us!

Aug 9, 2010 Naomi to me as I'm putting her to bed (and correcting her for disobeying), "MOM, you really bover me forever!"

Aug 10, 2012 Naomi to me, "Mom, 'because' is not a real answer when I ask you why."

Aug 10, 2010 Naomi just saluted me and said, "aye aye, cap'n" when I told her in no uncertain terms to be quiet and go to sleep- where does she get this stuff?!

Aug 12, 2010 When Naomi walked into the kitchen and saw me putting dinner on the table, she said, "Wow! This is just like Thanksgiving!"  I would be flattered except that we're having mac n cheese and hot dogs...

Aug 12 2010  So in Naomi world, not only is "clo" the singular of "clothes" but "che" is the singular of "cheese"- that one took me longer to figure out as I was doing nothing even remotely related to food when she was asking me for a "chee"...

Aug 23, 2010  Naomi just walks into my bedroom and out of the blue says, "Hi Mom, speaking of money, where's my wallet?"

Aug 30, 2010  Just gave Naomi a big hug and said, "Naomi I love you so much, did you know God made you special?"  and she says, "Yes, and I'm so cute and have very good ideas"  Obviously not lacking in the self esteem dept either...

November 8, 2010 Naomi is home today with a fever.  Questions I have been asked over the course of the day as she lounges around... "Mommy, do skunks have bottoms?  Mommy, what is in sprite and who named it Sprite?  Mommy who decides what color a car will be and who gets to paint them and do they paint the inside or just the outside?"  oh to be inside that little head...

Feb 21, 2011 Naomi turns 5

March 3, 2011 Naomi told me tonight that she will too eat green food- pears and apples

May 23, 2011 Naomi takes her hand and puts it on her forehead and runs it down the front of her body and says, "Mommy, I'm straight across".  She then does the same thing to me and says,"But you're pretty lumpy"

Aug 17, 2011 Naomi quote of the day, "I love doing inappropriate things!"

Sept 7, 2011 Convo with Naomi..  N: when I grow up I'm going to be a teacher just like Mrs. Miller (last years pre-K teacher) Me:  That's great!  N: AND, I'm going to own a restaurant!  Me: What kind of restaurant?  N:  Chick fil A.  And I'm going to be the girl that gives people food from the drive in window."...

Sept 8, 2011 Naomi to me, "Mom, you're belly is still really mushy, turn around, Mom.  And your bottom is really squooshy"  Leave it to a 5 year old to give that self esteem a much needed boost!

Sept 11, 2011 Naomi while watching me cut up raw chicken, "Mom are those red spots pits?"  Me- "huh?"  N: "YOu know, like arm pits"  A few minutes later I see Naomi contorted on the floor in a very weird position. Me: "Whatcha doing?"  N: "Trying to see if my legs have pits too..."

Oct 6, 2011 Naomi to me this morning while trying to convince me that she's "sick" and shouldn't go to school, "Mom, you're not very smart and I am.  When daddy says, "what do I want, Naomi?" i know he wants a hug so that means I'm very, very smart and you're not."

Oct 21, 2011 Abbey and Maddie are playing a game with some friends they have over.  I just hear Naomi apparently trying to fit in with this group of tweens say "guys, I cut the cheese"...

Oct 21, 2011 Naomi to me, "Mom, my finger really hurts.  I accidently put it in Maddie's pencil sharpener and then I accidently turned it and now it really hurts because I pulled the nail off."  Thinking we need to work on the definition of accident...

Oct 30, 2011 Naomi and Jason talking about our upcoming trip... J: Naomi are you excited about going to the big hotel?  N: Yeah, so I can have serpents!  J:  Huh?  N:  You know, like maids, serpents!  apparently she's been in the Middle East too long where everyone has housekeepers!

Dec 4, 2011 Naomi quote: "Mommy we have lots in our family..  a mommy, a daddy, a Naomi- the rememberer, a Abbey- the smartest one, a Maddie- the one who rides things and a Anabelle- just the baby"

Dec 4, 2011  For some reason Naomi has never noticed smokers even though they are everywhere over here..  Tonight in a taxi- she noticed... (all in a high pitched "whisper"), "Mom, that man (our driver) is blowing smoke. WHY is he doing that?! uggh- it really stinks!  WHY is he blowing stinky smoke?!

Dec 6, 2011 Naomi quote, "ugghh!!  how come Mommy's ALWAYS get everything they want?!"

Dec 6, 2011 Another conversation with Naomi tonight, Me, "Naomi, at first it was kind of funny, but it kind of hurts mommy's feelings when you keep telling me my belly is fat and mashing it with your hand."  Naomi, "Ok mom,  I won't say it anymore, but it really is pretty squooshy."

Dec 27, 2011 Naomi quote of the day, "Uggh!!  I can hardly walk in this house because there's so many stuffs on the ground.  That's a compliment, mom."  (Thanks for clarifying, Naomi, it wasn't really feeling like a compliment!)

Jan 4, 2012  Naomi: "Mom, are hats important?"  Me (thinking she's been fussed at by her teacher for not wearing a hat): "Sure, in the winter they keep your head warm."  Naomi: "Well, they also keep our brains from falling out of our heads.  At least that's what I dreamed."...

January 19, 2012  So Naomi walks in on me changing clothes, literally gasps, puts her hand over her eyes and runs out yelling, GROSS!!!  GREEAATT for the self esteem!

Feb 12, 2012  Naomi and Abbey playing Wii- just heard Naomi say, "oh yeah, oh yeah, who's awesome now?!"

Feb 21, 2012  Naomi turns 6

March 5, 2012 Naomi to me, "Mom, could you please get me some umm, ummm (long pause), umm you know that green stuff in a bottle?"  Me:  "Sprite?"  Naomi, "oh yeah, oh yeah, sprite"  Good grief! My 6 year old is forgetting sprite! Maybe she's more sick than I thought!

The following status is borrowed from my sis-in-law.  Sarah Ann is her daughter, Naomi's identical cousin...

March 9, 2012 This morning Sarah Ann said, "you know what, when Naomi grows up she just might be president.  And I'll be second president."

March 11, 2012  Naomi to Maddie as they're cleaning up their room as requested, "Does Mom think we're maids or something? Cuz we're not..."  looks like someone is in for a talk about being helpers...

March 21, 2012  Convo with Naomi:  Me:  Naomi come out of Abbey's room, she need some alone time.  N:  She doesn't NEED it, she WANTS it  Me: Maybe so, but we need to let her have it.  N:  WHY would people WANT alone time?!   Me:  Because that's how God made some people.  N:  Uh, mom, I dont' think you're telling the truth...

April 2, 2012  Naomi quote of the day, "Beans, beans good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you bart."  hee hee

May 24, 2012 Naomi's prayer at lunch, "Dear Lord, thank you for this day and thank you for this yummy food and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU that I finally get to mop my room!

August 25, 2012 Naomi: If I don't eat my chicken can I still have a snicker doodle muffin?
Me: No sweetie, you're not having anything else to eat if you don't eat the food on your plate.
N:  You mean, you're MAKING me eat it?
Me:  Nope, you have a choice, you just don't get anything else to eat tonight if you don't eat your dinner.  it's your choice
N:  That's called MAKING me and it's not fair AT ALL.  Besides I just don't like the sauce.
Me:  It's just honey mustard chicken, Naomi, which you usually eat
N:  HONEY on chicken?!  WHO does THAT?

Funny, funny girl!  She'd have my vote for president!


Unknown said...

I needed that laugh today. I am thankful DAILY for computers and messages!

Unknown said...

I needed that laugh today. I am thankful DAILY for computers and messages!

Madelyn said...

Hilarious kid!

Kendra said...

I just read through these out loud with my mom and we were both laughing so hard we're crying. Stinkin hilarious. Okay, maybe I should get FB if for nothing else, to keep track of the funny things our kiddos say. The other day HLT told my mom she had a baby in her belly. Gma: 'Oh yeah?' HLT: Yeah, that's why I had to get married. ;)

Brittney Galloway said...

Too funny! I'm guessing there are many times that you are trying to discipline and correct and she says things that make you hide your face! haha! And, call it post pregnancy hormones or what have you, but I had myself a good cry when I realized that my girls were born overseas and might not be able to be president, haha, though I'm sure I already knew that.

Da said...

being born overseas may not be a hindrance to being President...

Kim Heuer said...

Kelli! I read every word--I really needed that laugh!! How do you get anything done around there with your stand-up comedian running around? ha! hope you're doing well!