He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress and for his children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26

Thursday, May 15, 2014

MY story, MY song, second verse

Or third, or fourth verse- I'm not really sure!  

If you've been reading for a while, you may have picked up on how much music has been part of my journey, or even, OUR journey as a family.   I typically have a song that has been my theme for particular seasons of my life- not even really on purpose,  it just kind of happens.  I'm not exactly musically gifted- that's Jason's area, but I love music and the way certain songs take me back to certain places and experiences.  For example, HERE I talk about the music that was a part of our IVF journey.  

So anyway, I've been feeling nostalgic lately.  Or sentimental may be a better word.  (or possibly hormonal but let's not go there)...  Our sweet little Anabelle just turned 3- THREE!  Is that even possible?  And in the midst of what has been a very busy few weeks, I was able to take some moments and reflect on the miracle that she is and just praise Jesus for His gift.  (HERE is the Anabelle part of our IVF journey that still makes me weep and probably always will)  

A few weeks before her birthday, we were at our weekly worship time where we gather with other friends, our overseas family,  in our homes and do church together.  We were singing "Blessed Assurance" and I was immediately taken back to a similar time of worship, different city, many of the same friends, some different, almost exactly 3 years ago.  On that day, "Blessed Assurance" spoke to and soothed my soul in the midst of my grief over a lost IVF cycle.  I wrote about that HERE.  On this day, almost exactly 3 years later, as I held AB in my arms and sang those familiar words, I was totally blown away by God's goodness and grace, and by the way He is continuing to write the story of our family.  

THAT day, I mourned the loss of a child I would never hold this side of heaven.  THIS day I wrapped my arms tightly around one of the four miracles God has lovingly placed into my care.

THAT day,  I was overwhelmed by the way God weaves even the most painful circumstances into the fabric of our lives to help tell the story of His love.  THIS day, I rejoiced at the beauty that has resulted from that pain as I once again looked around the room and soaked in the gifts of my husband and my daughters and our friends, all such an intricate part of MY story and MY song.  

THAT day, my tears were birthed from pain and a lack of understanding of why God's timing couldn't align more with mine, yet I chose to praise Him anyway.  THIS day, my tears came from a place of joy as I reflected on the journey of our family, OUR story, OUR song, and I praised him for the gift of our children and the music they bring to our lives.  

You see, in our house, you could say life is a song more often than not.  There are days when I have to ask one (or more) of the girls to just stop singing for a few moments so I can gather my thoughts.  There is music as we clean, singing as we do dishes, humming as we do homework.  

You get the idea. At times the song is a bit off key, often times we are wondering WHEN a verse is going to end, and other days we all joyfully sing together.  Whatever the case, we rest assured that with God as the composer, the end result will be a thing of beauty that only He could create.   I praise Him for each of our girls who add their unique melody (or harmony) to the song He is writing for our family,  and this month in particular we celebrate the melody of Anabelle and the joy she brings to our lives.  Whether it be belting out the lyrics of "Let it Go" (again), attempting to sing along in our worship time to a song she has never heard, or humming along (in perfect pitch) to the tune of Jason's coffee grinder, we are all beyond thankful for this precious girl and the music she brings to our lives.  

1 comment:

Kendra said...

Aww. Sweetness. Great writing friend!